Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Might be time...
...to resurrect this sucker, given the newfound freedom of law school and the fact that Pens season approacheth. Let's see if we can't get some of the band back together.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
dear Tivo, please die
I have problems with the way people watch TV these days.
I've said before that i don't believe in Tivo. I think it robs viewers of the communal aspect of watching TV on a schedule.
This was an easy perspective to have because up until now, I've never had a Tivo, so i didn't have to worry about it. Ii never had a chance to utilize or even enjoy its many features.
But the other night, my mom's boyfriend came in and said, "American Gladiators is on at midnight."
It was 12:43.
"It's okay, I'll get you the Season Pass," which, if you are not familiar, forces Tivo to record every airing of a particular show for the rest of eternity or until I shut it off, whichever comes first.
So last night we discovered not one, not two but THREE (American Gladiators is on three times a day!!!!) episodes waiting in the "queue" (another aspect of Tivo I don't support - British English).
We sat down to enjoy what was a "tournament of champions" episode, and who was playing but my favorite-ever gladiator, Rico Constatino. my friend Mark and I have an inside joke about Rico and I wanted to utilize another modern invention, my cell phone, to text him and tell him our boy was playing.
"You can't do that. this is pre-recorded, don't forget," Dale informed me.
So there you go. I wanted to be able to share this experience with someone, and I couldn't, because they were not at the same television console as I. Bullshit.
Another thing that bugs me, which didn't exist before I left for prague, is the prevalence of online venues for viewing TV shows. Why even bother sitting down to watch TV every night? You can go on nbc.com, or hulu.com, or whatever and find last night's episode.
For example, everyday I have been sitting down around 4pm to watch the Tonight Show from the previous evening. what was I doing last night at 11:35? Nothing. Actually, probably watching old episodes of the Office, or maybe playoff hockey games from this season.
The Pens won the 2008 Winter Classic, so that's cool.
Anyway, there seems to be no reason for TV to even have a regular schedule anymore. can't we go back to the days when we all gathered round the TV and shared some quality time?
OK, back to Conan.
I've said before that i don't believe in Tivo. I think it robs viewers of the communal aspect of watching TV on a schedule.
This was an easy perspective to have because up until now, I've never had a Tivo, so i didn't have to worry about it. Ii never had a chance to utilize or even enjoy its many features.
But the other night, my mom's boyfriend came in and said, "American Gladiators is on at midnight."
It was 12:43.
"It's okay, I'll get you the Season Pass," which, if you are not familiar, forces Tivo to record every airing of a particular show for the rest of eternity or until I shut it off, whichever comes first.
So last night we discovered not one, not two but THREE (American Gladiators is on three times a day!!!!) episodes waiting in the "queue" (another aspect of Tivo I don't support - British English).
We sat down to enjoy what was a "tournament of champions" episode, and who was playing but my favorite-ever gladiator, Rico Constatino. my friend Mark and I have an inside joke about Rico and I wanted to utilize another modern invention, my cell phone, to text him and tell him our boy was playing.
"You can't do that. this is pre-recorded, don't forget," Dale informed me.
So there you go. I wanted to be able to share this experience with someone, and I couldn't, because they were not at the same television console as I. Bullshit.
Another thing that bugs me, which didn't exist before I left for prague, is the prevalence of online venues for viewing TV shows. Why even bother sitting down to watch TV every night? You can go on nbc.com, or hulu.com, or whatever and find last night's episode.
For example, everyday I have been sitting down around 4pm to watch the Tonight Show from the previous evening. what was I doing last night at 11:35? Nothing. Actually, probably watching old episodes of the Office, or maybe playoff hockey games from this season.
The Pens won the 2008 Winter Classic, so that's cool.
Anyway, there seems to be no reason for TV to even have a regular schedule anymore. can't we go back to the days when we all gathered round the TV and shared some quality time?
OK, back to Conan.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
America v. America
Now that I've returned to the land/home of the free/brave, and because i don't currently have a job per se so i have a lot of free time on my hands, i've been considering what I'm returning to. Is the America of July 2009 better, worse or more or less the same as the America of August 2007? Have I upgraded or downgraded? Let's consider the facts.
Economy: I did some reading up on comparing the financial climate now to two years ago, and basically it was shitty then and it's shittier now. Also, two years ago i had a job and currently I'm unemployed.
verdict: DOWNGRADE.
Government: I don't care who you voted for in last years election, I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief now that GWB is out of office.
verdict: UPGRADE.
Late Night Television: Conan on an hour earlier? Means I don't have to feel like I'm getting old because I can't stay up to watch Late Night. also, Andy is back! Sadly, after watching some of the shows, i'm wondering if Conan has lost his edge. I guess we'll need more time to give him a fair review, but some of the jokes are pretty terrible. And Jimmy Fallon's worst career move ever was leaving SNL. quit wasting my time.
verdict: EVEN MONEY.
Celebrity Deaths: of course there's MJ. we'll be bereft of not only a musical genius, but also of the endless stream of jokes at his expense. also, i'm still not 100% convinced that Alan Alda is alive.
verdict: DOWNGRADE.
Beer: Upon returning to the cradle of socialization, Oakland, I learned that most of the establishments that used to offer $1 beers have upped their asking price to $1.50. Gone are the days of a night out for less than $10. And legislators have done nothing to remedy the archaic alcohol laws in this state: I still can't walk down to the 7-11 to get a beer, and I can't walk down the street with an open container. how in the world am i supposed to be drunk all the time?
verdict: DOWNGRADE.
Personal Effects: Two years ago when I moved away, I packed up most of my clothes and books to be stored in my mom's attic. At the time I figured I'd probably never touch most of those things again, that they would stay up there for twenty or thirty years and then my kids would find them and go "you used to wear THAT?" and we'd all have a good laugh and then i'd say something weird and crazy and pee my pants because by then hopefully i'll be senile. BUT, after unpacking all said belongings, i realized it's things i forgot i owned by I'm so glad I do! I found my Kordell Stewart jersey circa 1996, some sweet pajama pants, red rain boots and enough fleece blankets to build a badass living-room fort. It's like Christmas for free.
verdict: UPGRADE.
Mom and technology: Two years ago, my mom was essentially living in the year 1993. She had no idea about the internet, very little information about computers, had just got her first cell phone and didn't even have a debit card.
Tonight, however, I realized that she has learned how to text message. I'm proud of her but frankly it's a little bit of a pain in the ass; she texted me three times in a span of like 20 minutes tonight while she was at work asking about when I am free to get my hair cut.
verdict: DOWNGRADE.
Shaq: In August 2007, Shaq was gearing up for another season with the Miami Heat. In the previous season he had reached the milestone of 25,000 career points, but saw the Heat swept by the Bulls in the playoffs.
Now, however, in the summer of 2009, things are looking up. Even though he's super old (like 59), you know he and Lebron are going to crush peoples souls in Cleveland. Also, this year Shaq, like the rest of the world, discovered Twitter, letting not a day go by without gems such as "Oh lance armstrong i challenge you to a time trial anytime anywhere, i dnt smell fear do i, smmmm smmm dats the sniffn sound."
verdict: UPGRADE.
OVERALL ASSESSMENT:
After using my calculator machine to add up all the variables and hypothesizing with my very scientific method of evaluation, it looks like it's about even. America today is just as wonderful, or shitty, as it was two years ago. But if there's one thing we all should have learned from the Wizard of Oz, there's no place like home. I'd take a comparably shitty America over a normal or even above-average Europe.
Anyway... I'm glad to be back.
Economy: I did some reading up on comparing the financial climate now to two years ago, and basically it was shitty then and it's shittier now. Also, two years ago i had a job and currently I'm unemployed.
verdict: DOWNGRADE.
Government: I don't care who you voted for in last years election, I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief now that GWB is out of office.
verdict: UPGRADE.
Late Night Television: Conan on an hour earlier? Means I don't have to feel like I'm getting old because I can't stay up to watch Late Night. also, Andy is back! Sadly, after watching some of the shows, i'm wondering if Conan has lost his edge. I guess we'll need more time to give him a fair review, but some of the jokes are pretty terrible. And Jimmy Fallon's worst career move ever was leaving SNL. quit wasting my time.
verdict: EVEN MONEY.
Celebrity Deaths: of course there's MJ. we'll be bereft of not only a musical genius, but also of the endless stream of jokes at his expense. also, i'm still not 100% convinced that Alan Alda is alive.
verdict: DOWNGRADE.
Beer: Upon returning to the cradle of socialization, Oakland, I learned that most of the establishments that used to offer $1 beers have upped their asking price to $1.50. Gone are the days of a night out for less than $10. And legislators have done nothing to remedy the archaic alcohol laws in this state: I still can't walk down to the 7-11 to get a beer, and I can't walk down the street with an open container. how in the world am i supposed to be drunk all the time?
verdict: DOWNGRADE.
Personal Effects: Two years ago when I moved away, I packed up most of my clothes and books to be stored in my mom's attic. At the time I figured I'd probably never touch most of those things again, that they would stay up there for twenty or thirty years and then my kids would find them and go "you used to wear THAT?" and we'd all have a good laugh and then i'd say something weird and crazy and pee my pants because by then hopefully i'll be senile. BUT, after unpacking all said belongings, i realized it's things i forgot i owned by I'm so glad I do! I found my Kordell Stewart jersey circa 1996, some sweet pajama pants, red rain boots and enough fleece blankets to build a badass living-room fort. It's like Christmas for free.
verdict: UPGRADE.
Mom and technology: Two years ago, my mom was essentially living in the year 1993. She had no idea about the internet, very little information about computers, had just got her first cell phone and didn't even have a debit card.
Tonight, however, I realized that she has learned how to text message. I'm proud of her but frankly it's a little bit of a pain in the ass; she texted me three times in a span of like 20 minutes tonight while she was at work asking about when I am free to get my hair cut.
verdict: DOWNGRADE.
Shaq: In August 2007, Shaq was gearing up for another season with the Miami Heat. In the previous season he had reached the milestone of 25,000 career points, but saw the Heat swept by the Bulls in the playoffs.
Now, however, in the summer of 2009, things are looking up. Even though he's super old (like 59), you know he and Lebron are going to crush peoples souls in Cleveland. Also, this year Shaq, like the rest of the world, discovered Twitter, letting not a day go by without gems such as "Oh lance armstrong i challenge you to a time trial anytime anywhere, i dnt smell fear do i, smmmm smmm dats the sniffn sound."
verdict: UPGRADE.
OVERALL ASSESSMENT:
After using my calculator machine to add up all the variables and hypothesizing with my very scientific method of evaluation, it looks like it's about even. America today is just as wonderful, or shitty, as it was two years ago. But if there's one thing we all should have learned from the Wizard of Oz, there's no place like home. I'd take a comparably shitty America over a normal or even above-average Europe.
Anyway... I'm glad to be back.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
SCF Game One Feedback - Detroit 3 - Pittsburgh 1
Pens lost...time to kill myself. Is history going to repeat itself? At least tasty burgers and turkey loins were grilled for the occasion. Who knew that turkeys even had such a body part? A delicious, delicious body part. Additional note with regard to turkeys - I almost murdered one trying to cross Panther Hollow Road? It got lucky; I didn't know that their loins were so delicious. The next one to cross my path won't be so lucky.
Time to go eat a popsicle to soothe this terrible setback. It won't be a red one, I can assure you of that. If only there was some kind of Pens colored popsicle...guess I'll have to settle for third-jersey blue.
Good evening.
----------------
Now playing: The White Stripes - Hello Operator
via FoxyTunes
Time to go eat a popsicle to soothe this terrible setback. It won't be a red one, I can assure you of that. If only there was some kind of Pens colored popsicle...guess I'll have to settle for third-jersey blue.
Good evening.
----------------
Now playing: The White Stripes - Hello Operator
via FoxyTunes
Monday, February 16, 2009
monday night
So I like "the city" on MTV. Does this make me a girl, probably...but I dont watch it for the same reasons as most people do. I dont care about how hot the girls are, or how tight the guys jeans are...I just like looking at their homes, and thinking, "damn son, people my age actually live like that." Sometimes it is horribly depressing, but then I realize I have jeffe, and they don't.
I think I have given up on "trust me." Its some dumb show on TNT (Turner should pay me for this advertising). I really wanted to like it, but it is absolutely horrible. With this in mind, I plan on watching it next week.
Pitt bball beat UCONN tonight. Blair destroyed the Jolly Green Giant. I guess when Blair and tall jeffe (dont worry, he'll never read this) are the same weight, but Blair is smaller, thus tougher, Tall Jeffe has no chance.
peace one
I think I have given up on "trust me." Its some dumb show on TNT (Turner should pay me for this advertising). I really wanted to like it, but it is absolutely horrible. With this in mind, I plan on watching it next week.
Pitt bball beat UCONN tonight. Blair destroyed the Jolly Green Giant. I guess when Blair and tall jeffe (dont worry, he'll never read this) are the same weight, but Blair is smaller, thus tougher, Tall Jeffe has no chance.
peace one
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Thursday night
More like, TBS night. Oh damn son, anti-dentite episode on Seinfeld. So I thought I would do a little blogging tonight, since I got nothing going on. Dwight Howard's slam dunk contest commercial with Jameer (my college player of the year trophy is bigger than me) Nelson is hilarious. I can't believe I'm saying this out loud, but TNT's basketball show is actually better with Charles Barkley not on it. I'm not even kidding. Chris Webber is really good, but Kenny Smith and Gary Payton are super funny together. I think its because they are both loud mouths that were better in college than in the NBA (GP was actually a great pro). But seriously, let me get on my non-jockmockery soap box and dish out this nugget, C-web and GP are better than Barkley on that show. The show just runs better.
Speaking of Turner television...I just realized 3 of my 4 blogs have been about Mr. Turner, oh well, I still hate the Braves, suck on that Otis Nixon. So I watched that show on TNT about the ad executives..It stars the dude from ED (lawyer bowler show) and the dude from Will and Grace. I thought it might be cool, but it sucked. I'm definately watching it again, but it was horrible.
On Yahoo! today, I saw some story about a boy, who dressed like a girl in order to take a test in school, and I was thinking, "DAMN JEFFE, YOU A FREAK!" Dont worry, he'll never read this.
peace one
Speaking of Turner television...I just realized 3 of my 4 blogs have been about Mr. Turner, oh well, I still hate the Braves, suck on that Otis Nixon. So I watched that show on TNT about the ad executives..It stars the dude from ED (lawyer bowler show) and the dude from Will and Grace. I thought it might be cool, but it sucked. I'm definately watching it again, but it was horrible.
On Yahoo! today, I saw some story about a boy, who dressed like a girl in order to take a test in school, and I was thinking, "DAMN JEFFE, YOU A FREAK!" Dont worry, he'll never read this.
peace one
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Tuesday night
I think I'm old. Judging by my lifestyle, I might be 50. I love watching TBS. Its all I watch. Its like a buffet of funny TV. Want some Friends, ok...how about some Seinfeld, well thank you very much.....The Office, cha ching. There was a point in my life when I wanted to get a beer and see people, but now a days, its more about seeing my old friends at Sex and the City. Carrie Bradshaw, you make me feel like a real person.
So I noticed Andy Roddick is like super skinny. One of two things happenned, either he is a vegan or is dating a super model, and now throws up and only drinks red bull. I think we both (i say both because, to be honest, I doubt anyone really reads this) know the answer. Plus, Roddick looks like a red bull type of guy, probably one of those coffee flavored one. Jeffe really likes the coffee flavored ones. Jeffe sucks. He'll never read this.
Peace one
So I noticed Andy Roddick is like super skinny. One of two things happenned, either he is a vegan or is dating a super model, and now throws up and only drinks red bull. I think we both (i say both because, to be honest, I doubt anyone really reads this) know the answer. Plus, Roddick looks like a red bull type of guy, probably one of those coffee flavored one. Jeffe really likes the coffee flavored ones. Jeffe sucks. He'll never read this.
Peace one
Friday, January 23, 2009
Week in Review
Stover - what was the last post? I dont get it..is it a paid advertisement for your friday night?
You are right Jen, I'm the lone poster alive, the last gunman for the Raleigh Blogosphere.
So I thought a week in review post should be added to my posting resume, so here's the week in review.....IN HAIKU FORMAT.
Voted Obama
Everyone get gay married
Whatever, Jeffe
Penguins blow balls
Pittsburgh Pirates play hockey?
Nate McClouth can't skate
Drunk Charles Barkley
Sir Charles wanted blow job
Kenny Smith jealous
Depression coming?
Give me money! I'm starving
Sell Body, get paid
Birthdays are real cool
Parents bang, getting laid, YIKES!
Joe Namath, not dad
Topaz, monkey brains
Killing zombies, tanks too tough
Get Bill, eat the drugs
You are right Jen, I'm the lone poster alive, the last gunman for the Raleigh Blogosphere.
So I thought a week in review post should be added to my posting resume, so here's the week in review.....IN HAIKU FORMAT.
Voted Obama
Everyone get gay married
Whatever, Jeffe
Penguins blow balls
Pittsburgh Pirates play hockey?
Nate McClouth can't skate
Drunk Charles Barkley
Sir Charles wanted blow job
Kenny Smith jealous
Depression coming?
Give me money! I'm starving
Sell Body, get paid
Birthdays are real cool
Parents bang, getting laid, YIKES!
Joe Namath, not dad
Topaz, monkey brains
Killing zombies, tanks too tough
Get Bill, eat the drugs
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Super Bowl Rally
Who wants to go?!
Steelers fans can attend a free Super Bowl pep rally hosted by the team at Heinz Field on Friday.
Here's the schedule:
Steelers fans can attend a free Super Bowl pep rally hosted by the team at Heinz Field on Friday.
Here's the schedule:
- 3 p.m. - Stadium lots and Carnegie Science Center lots open ($5 parking)
- 3 - 7 p.m. - WDVE 102.5 live broadcast (Coca-Cola Great Hall)
- 5 - 7 p.m. - KISS 96.1 live broadcast (Coca-Cola Great Hall)
- 5 p.m. - Gates A and B open
- 5:40 p.m. - Pittsburgh Poison All-Stars Dance Team perform
- 5:45 p.m. - South Fayette marching band performs
- 6 p.m. - Concert by The Clarks
- 7 p.m. - Rally begins; Dusty Drake sings "The 12th Man;" Steelers and local dignitaries on stage
- 8:05 p.m. - Pittsburgh Fan Club performance - "Here We Go"
- 8:10 p.m. - Rally ends
Come and test your luck at Blackjack, Poker, & Roulette
$2 Drinks 5-7pm
Free Buffet @ 6pm
B94 broadcasting the party live.
More info at http://www.sportsrockcafepgh.com
Sunday, January 18, 2009
LIVE BLOG WITH SPECIAL GUEST
What up sucka fools!!!! Live blog, sounds like a date to me. Special guest Stacey Barron, MD, on the ones and twos.
Ankney called me, he's gay...stop calling me.
So I'm in the Illadelphia half life watching "da birds" with super fan 81 (thats TO for the philly rookies) Figured I should live blog.
Joe Buck is dumb, I hate FOX sports.
Edge James is looking real good early on. Call him MR. 4.2, cause he's getting his average on.
Stacey is screaming, ouch, my ears are killing me. The Eagles have no idea how to stop blitzing, ESPN reported Kurt Warner is great at killing the blitz, which makes no sense, cause he is slow and looks like his wife. I think ESPN should have stated, "fitz and bouldin are great at killing the blitz."
The Lebron James commercial sucks so much. Number 23 playing receiver? Is his last name "Lebron?" I didnt realize he is asian? Stacey didn't get it, just got it. Maybe she is asian.
Stacey wont stop clapping..wait she just did, only to yell at DeSean Jackson. She just clapped again.
Stacey makes a better wall than window, I can't watch any plays. McNabb INT, what else is new, but then Jackson (see above) forced the cardinals to fumble...Stacey loves DeSean Jackson.
Greg Lewis isn't dating a playboy model, Hank Baskett isn't very good, but him and Cole Hamel have one thing in common, they both bang fake boobs.
CLAPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CLAP CLAP CLAP.....GO GO GO!!!
Some dude for the cardinals last name is Laboy. I bet he doesn't like showering with Laman, if you catch my joke.
I'm really good at live blogging.
Akers missed, I guess it was too warm for his leg. He should try Matt Stover's yoga kick style.
Cardinal cheerleaders are sluts - SLB
Trick play, circa 2008 New England Patriots vs. Pittsburgh Steelers. Same result, TD. Fitz is the best receiver at catching the ball with his hands. Scratch that, Moss does it better, but Fitz actually runs routes in the middle of the field.
Joe Buck claims the Cardinals have fans in the mid west because they use to play in Chicago..he's a liar, they dont even have fans in Arizona.
McNabb has the second hardest throw in the NFL, behind Leftwich. Jay Cutler's a baby.
CLAPPING...CLAPPING...LETS GO BIRDS...CLAP CLAP CLAP....THIS ISN'T WWE...CLAP
The Heineken commercial with the dude from that movie with Adam Sandler and Winona Ryder is horrible. The beer is horrible too.
Edge just got 22 yards....IN ONE CARRY! That is screwing up his 4.2 average.
It feels like the Eagles haven't had the ball all half.
Fitz is too good. TD Cardinals. Andy Reid should shave at half time.
I'm tired..Stacey stopped clapping.
4TH QUARTER 24-19 CARDINALS
The Eagles' defense started to play better. Thus live blog is back.
CLAP..FUMBLE...INTERCEPTION....FUMBLE...FUMBLE....CLAP
This game suddenly got good. Arizona should try running the ball more. Edge looked good to start the game, not to mention running the ball makes the clock tick.
TICK...tick tick tick....TICK...tick tick tick...Thankfully neither team understands how to run, so this game might be on til LOST premiers on Wednesday.
Stacey loves Ford F-150 commercials....THE TRUCKS ARE SOOOOO BIG...LOOK AT THE SIZE OF MY EXHAUST...ITS SO BIG....SUCK ON MY GIANT EXHAUST!!!! -chewning
Great catch by Jackson.....McNabb didn't make a great throw, Cromartie should have knocked it down, but Jackson with a great play. Eagles went for 2, no good. Akers has done his best to ruin the game.
Jackson is far better than Sweed. And Holmes....Only Eddie Royal is more awesome.
I take back what I typed before, Cromartie had no real chance of getting to the TD pass. McNabb Mckilled him.
Fitz makes another catch with his hands....he is the polar opposite of Hines Ward...Ward can only catch with his body, which is fine.
Eagles make a stop on 3rd down...Going for it on 4th.....(stacey won't watch...but she is yelling "stop them!")....1st down Arizona. Crazy play, Warner pitches outwide to Hightower...it worked..Eagles weren't expecting it.
Fitz finally catches the ball with his body..he is open every play. Arizona needs to keep this offense together, they are great to watch.
Apparently Bouldin is yelling a lot at the offensive coach...I dont understand why. I call him Terrible Owens, says Skip Bayless.
Did you know Skip Bayless' nickname is "human anus." I wish I was kidding.
This commercial with the italian family for verizon is dumb....though I do love my stereotypes.
"He's just not that into you" the movie was casted horribly from the guys cast. I didn't realize 'E' from Entourage was considered hot..or even acceptable.
Arizona scores a TD. Hightower steals again from Edge, Topaz rejoices. Cardinals go for two, and succeed. 7 point lead for Arizona.
Special shout out to Stover, who is watching the game from the airport. He'll be flying to North Dakota instead of watching the Steelers, IBM is dumb.
BUY THIS F-150!!!! ITS SO TOUGH.....LOOK HOW BIG THE ENGINE IS.....AAAHHHH - Chewning
Stacey is sick of Hightower banging TD's. Edge is sick of being banged by Hightower.
Eagles are moving the ball. 2:09 in the 4th, Eagles just entered Arizona's half.
McNabb has exploded. 3 bad throws. 4th down...two minute warning..commercial time, which means I get to watch the FOX Robot dance around.
Ford Flex..more like Ford Sexbox.
ROLL OVER MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DONT WASTE THEM!!!!
Curtis drops the 4th down pass....definately contact, no flag. Curtis should have caught it anyways. Arizona ball.
Game over...Arizona is going to the super bowl....and i'm not kidding..Kurt Warner Hall of Fame.
Andy Reid is fat
Ankney called me, he's gay...stop calling me.
So I'm in the Illadelphia half life watching "da birds" with super fan 81 (thats TO for the philly rookies) Figured I should live blog.
Joe Buck is dumb, I hate FOX sports.
Edge James is looking real good early on. Call him MR. 4.2, cause he's getting his average on.
Stacey is screaming, ouch, my ears are killing me. The Eagles have no idea how to stop blitzing, ESPN reported Kurt Warner is great at killing the blitz, which makes no sense, cause he is slow and looks like his wife. I think ESPN should have stated, "fitz and bouldin are great at killing the blitz."
The Lebron James commercial sucks so much. Number 23 playing receiver? Is his last name "Lebron?" I didnt realize he is asian? Stacey didn't get it, just got it. Maybe she is asian.
Stacey wont stop clapping..wait she just did, only to yell at DeSean Jackson. She just clapped again.
Stacey makes a better wall than window, I can't watch any plays. McNabb INT, what else is new, but then Jackson (see above) forced the cardinals to fumble...Stacey loves DeSean Jackson.
Greg Lewis isn't dating a playboy model, Hank Baskett isn't very good, but him and Cole Hamel have one thing in common, they both bang fake boobs.
CLAPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CLAP CLAP CLAP.....GO GO GO!!!
Some dude for the cardinals last name is Laboy. I bet he doesn't like showering with Laman, if you catch my joke.
I'm really good at live blogging.
Akers missed, I guess it was too warm for his leg. He should try Matt Stover's yoga kick style.
Cardinal cheerleaders are sluts - SLB
Trick play, circa 2008 New England Patriots vs. Pittsburgh Steelers. Same result, TD. Fitz is the best receiver at catching the ball with his hands. Scratch that, Moss does it better, but Fitz actually runs routes in the middle of the field.
Joe Buck claims the Cardinals have fans in the mid west because they use to play in Chicago..he's a liar, they dont even have fans in Arizona.
McNabb has the second hardest throw in the NFL, behind Leftwich. Jay Cutler's a baby.
CLAPPING...CLAPPING...LETS GO BIRDS...CLAP CLAP CLAP....THIS ISN'T WWE...CLAP
The Heineken commercial with the dude from that movie with Adam Sandler and Winona Ryder is horrible. The beer is horrible too.
Edge just got 22 yards....IN ONE CARRY! That is screwing up his 4.2 average.
It feels like the Eagles haven't had the ball all half.
Fitz is too good. TD Cardinals. Andy Reid should shave at half time.
I'm tired..Stacey stopped clapping.
4TH QUARTER 24-19 CARDINALS
The Eagles' defense started to play better. Thus live blog is back.
CLAP..FUMBLE...INTERCEPTION....FUMBLE...FUMBLE....CLAP
This game suddenly got good. Arizona should try running the ball more. Edge looked good to start the game, not to mention running the ball makes the clock tick.
TICK...tick tick tick....TICK...tick tick tick...Thankfully neither team understands how to run, so this game might be on til LOST premiers on Wednesday.
Stacey loves Ford F-150 commercials....THE TRUCKS ARE SOOOOO BIG...LOOK AT THE SIZE OF MY EXHAUST...ITS SO BIG....SUCK ON MY GIANT EXHAUST!!!! -chewning
Great catch by Jackson.....McNabb didn't make a great throw, Cromartie should have knocked it down, but Jackson with a great play. Eagles went for 2, no good. Akers has done his best to ruin the game.
Jackson is far better than Sweed. And Holmes....Only Eddie Royal is more awesome.
I take back what I typed before, Cromartie had no real chance of getting to the TD pass. McNabb Mckilled him.
Fitz makes another catch with his hands....he is the polar opposite of Hines Ward...Ward can only catch with his body, which is fine.
Eagles make a stop on 3rd down...Going for it on 4th.....(stacey won't watch...but she is yelling "stop them!")....1st down Arizona. Crazy play, Warner pitches outwide to Hightower...it worked..Eagles weren't expecting it.
Fitz finally catches the ball with his body..he is open every play. Arizona needs to keep this offense together, they are great to watch.
Apparently Bouldin is yelling a lot at the offensive coach...I dont understand why. I call him Terrible Owens, says Skip Bayless.
Did you know Skip Bayless' nickname is "human anus." I wish I was kidding.
This commercial with the italian family for verizon is dumb....though I do love my stereotypes.
"He's just not that into you" the movie was casted horribly from the guys cast. I didn't realize 'E' from Entourage was considered hot..or even acceptable.
Arizona scores a TD. Hightower steals again from Edge, Topaz rejoices. Cardinals go for two, and succeed. 7 point lead for Arizona.
Special shout out to Stover, who is watching the game from the airport. He'll be flying to North Dakota instead of watching the Steelers, IBM is dumb.
BUY THIS F-150!!!! ITS SO TOUGH.....LOOK HOW BIG THE ENGINE IS.....AAAHHHH - Chewning
Stacey is sick of Hightower banging TD's. Edge is sick of being banged by Hightower.
Eagles are moving the ball. 2:09 in the 4th, Eagles just entered Arizona's half.
McNabb has exploded. 3 bad throws. 4th down...two minute warning..commercial time, which means I get to watch the FOX Robot dance around.
Ford Flex..more like Ford Sexbox.
ROLL OVER MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DONT WASTE THEM!!!!
Curtis drops the 4th down pass....definately contact, no flag. Curtis should have caught it anyways. Arizona ball.
Game over...Arizona is going to the super bowl....and i'm not kidding..Kurt Warner Hall of Fame.
Andy Reid is fat
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
liveblog: atlanta international airport
11:31. i arrived in Atlanta about an hour ago; i still have just a shade under 7 hours until my connecting flight leaves for Prague. i rode the cool little light rail train to Concourse E and situated myself at a Wi Fi Hot Spot in the food court. Atlanta is totally aware that it's 2009 and the internet should be ubiquitous and free. Awesome.
There are so many delicious food options around, I don't know what to choose for My Last Meal (in America). Arby's v. Qdoba? My brain isn't equipped to handle such challenges.
11:33. it is Hot As Fuck in this airport. I want to take my pants off. The man sitting opposite me is housing a tasty-looking quesadilla. One point for Qdoba.
11:35. Just realized my overheatedness may be due to the tall, thick socks I am wearing.
11:35:30. There is a badass player piano in this food court.
11:37. How early is too early to have a beer? I think general opinion would say noon. I say, as early as you are awake. JFK International Airport told me at 6:30 am, Friday December 19th that "the bar doesn't open until 8 am." Embarassing.
11:49. Just started thinking about how awesome it will be to have my NES in my apartment in Prague. No matter decade or location, having a Nintendo will always make you cool.
12:01. Some people are having beers across the way. I may make a move.
12:08. I am very bored. I am running out of people to stalk on the facebook.
12:10. There are two food court employees speaking to each other. One is on the phone, and the other is dictating a phone number for the person on the phone to relay to the person on the other end. Repeatedly. This gentleman has literally recited this same phone number 10 times at least. And he's also saying "fo" for the number four. I thought this only happened in movies.
12:21. Lunch break. I've decided on Qdoba. Chicken queso burrito, here I come. See you in a few.
12:52. If they don't have burritos in heaven, I'm not going.
12:53. The phone numbers gentleman commented on my "old school Nintendo. I think we're buds now.
1:25. Time is moving very slowly. There are tons of pilots wandering around this food court: wheeling their little suitcases, eating tasty food court foods and removing and replacing their pilot hats and jackets. This makes me nervous. I don't think the pilots should be mingling with the common folk. They should be segregated so they can focus on flying the airplanes.
1:42. Two people across from me are talking on walkie talkie phones. Presumably not to each other but I wouldn't put it past them. I don't get it. Can't you just call the person? Anyway, walkie talkies are cool until you're 12, and after that they're really fucking annoying.
2:10. Most pilots' hats look like they are three or four sizes too big for their heads.
2:22. The My Morning Jacket song I was enjoying just stopped very abruptly and prematurely. The next song was "In the Ayer" by Flo Rida. Scared the shit out of me. I nearly fell off my cha-yer.
2:42. More pilots. Pilots everywhere. One has Ohio sports team stickers all over his little pilot suitcase. Ohio is cool because, much like you can tell how far a star is from the earth by taking two measurements, six months apart, you can tell what part of Ohio someone is from by knowing at least two of the sports teams they support. The Bengals and Ohio University? Clearly south. Ohio State and the Browns? Columbus and North. I'm not sure how Columbus splits - who goes for the Bengals and who goes for the Browns? Ohio State and the Steelers - though rare - can signal Youngstown.
2:47. In the song "Panama," it really sounds like David Lee Roth is saying "Animal."
3:05. A while ago I switched the language setting on my facebook to "Pirate," and now I have no idea what is going on. It took me like three weeks to realize "betrothed" meant engaged. I'm tempted to change it back, but I like how it records time with shots of rum.
3:51. I forgot I was doing this for a few minutes. I realized that everyone I know is getting engaged or is already married. WTF? I mean, to each his own, but when did this happen? I feel like we just finished high school ten minutes ago.
4:14. Just saw someone with a killer-looking taco salad. Maybe I made the wrong choice.
4:25. I'm so tired. I just want to get on the plane so I can pass out.
4:40. No one is online for chatting purposes. I wish this internet connection would allow me to use G mail.
4:43. An old lady just bent down and picked up a penny I dropped earlier that landed heads down. Sucker.
5:07. I'm going to pack it in soon. Here's what I've learned about Atlanta in my eight or so hours here. People here have way cooler haircuts. There are lots of members of the armed forces skulking around, and pilots. Way more Spanish speakers than your average Pennsylvania town. The food courts are far classier than most airports. Owning a Nintendo can help if your social skills struggle. Like any honest American town, there's a TGI Fridays. Smoothies are gross. And free internet is freedom.
Peace be with yinz.
There are so many delicious food options around, I don't know what to choose for My Last Meal (in America). Arby's v. Qdoba? My brain isn't equipped to handle such challenges.
11:33. it is Hot As Fuck in this airport. I want to take my pants off. The man sitting opposite me is housing a tasty-looking quesadilla. One point for Qdoba.
11:35. Just realized my overheatedness may be due to the tall, thick socks I am wearing.
11:35:30. There is a badass player piano in this food court.
11:37. How early is too early to have a beer? I think general opinion would say noon. I say, as early as you are awake. JFK International Airport told me at 6:30 am, Friday December 19th that "the bar doesn't open until 8 am." Embarassing.
11:49. Just started thinking about how awesome it will be to have my NES in my apartment in Prague. No matter decade or location, having a Nintendo will always make you cool.
12:01. Some people are having beers across the way. I may make a move.
12:08. I am very bored. I am running out of people to stalk on the facebook.
12:10. There are two food court employees speaking to each other. One is on the phone, and the other is dictating a phone number for the person on the phone to relay to the person on the other end. Repeatedly. This gentleman has literally recited this same phone number 10 times at least. And he's also saying "fo" for the number four. I thought this only happened in movies.
12:21. Lunch break. I've decided on Qdoba. Chicken queso burrito, here I come. See you in a few.
12:52. If they don't have burritos in heaven, I'm not going.
12:53. The phone numbers gentleman commented on my "old school Nintendo. I think we're buds now.
1:25. Time is moving very slowly. There are tons of pilots wandering around this food court: wheeling their little suitcases, eating tasty food court foods and removing and replacing their pilot hats and jackets. This makes me nervous. I don't think the pilots should be mingling with the common folk. They should be segregated so they can focus on flying the airplanes.
1:42. Two people across from me are talking on walkie talkie phones. Presumably not to each other but I wouldn't put it past them. I don't get it. Can't you just call the person? Anyway, walkie talkies are cool until you're 12, and after that they're really fucking annoying.
2:10. Most pilots' hats look like they are three or four sizes too big for their heads.
2:22. The My Morning Jacket song I was enjoying just stopped very abruptly and prematurely. The next song was "In the Ayer" by Flo Rida. Scared the shit out of me. I nearly fell off my cha-yer.
2:42. More pilots. Pilots everywhere. One has Ohio sports team stickers all over his little pilot suitcase. Ohio is cool because, much like you can tell how far a star is from the earth by taking two measurements, six months apart, you can tell what part of Ohio someone is from by knowing at least two of the sports teams they support. The Bengals and Ohio University? Clearly south. Ohio State and the Browns? Columbus and North. I'm not sure how Columbus splits - who goes for the Bengals and who goes for the Browns? Ohio State and the Steelers - though rare - can signal Youngstown.
2:47. In the song "Panama," it really sounds like David Lee Roth is saying "Animal."
3:05. A while ago I switched the language setting on my facebook to "Pirate," and now I have no idea what is going on. It took me like three weeks to realize "betrothed" meant engaged. I'm tempted to change it back, but I like how it records time with shots of rum.
3:51. I forgot I was doing this for a few minutes. I realized that everyone I know is getting engaged or is already married. WTF? I mean, to each his own, but when did this happen? I feel like we just finished high school ten minutes ago.
4:14. Just saw someone with a killer-looking taco salad. Maybe I made the wrong choice.
4:25. I'm so tired. I just want to get on the plane so I can pass out.
4:40. No one is online for chatting purposes. I wish this internet connection would allow me to use G mail.
4:43. An old lady just bent down and picked up a penny I dropped earlier that landed heads down. Sucker.
5:07. I'm going to pack it in soon. Here's what I've learned about Atlanta in my eight or so hours here. People here have way cooler haircuts. There are lots of members of the armed forces skulking around, and pilots. Way more Spanish speakers than your average Pennsylvania town. The food courts are far classier than most airports. Owning a Nintendo can help if your social skills struggle. Like any honest American town, there's a TGI Fridays. Smoothies are gross. And free internet is freedom.
Peace be with yinz.
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