I missed a call from my friend Joe at 1:49 a.m. this morning. He claims to have met filmmaker Morgan Spurlock of the "Super Size Me" fame at a bar in Columbus, and he told him about the documentary concept I had in high school. It would be called "Stick THAT in Your Pipe" and feature me chain smoking until I die. Mr. Spurlock was allegedly offended by this idea. Later that night Joe planned to buy a Big Mac from McDonald's and hire a taxi to do a hamburger drive-by. His friends convinced him this was a bad idea, but I can say this with full certainty: Joe, if I were there, we would have nailed that motherfucker with some extra special sauce.
In other news, I have spent the entire day waiting for the delivery of Moneybags McRobb's new television set, which was supposed to be here 25 minutes ago at the very latest. God I'm so lonely.
Jon
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